Scars...

We all have one whether it visible or not.

"There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with." ~ Harry Crews

I don't remember my first cut of the skin that would leave a scar or what it like to live without. I know that my skin is a beautiful olive/tan color and the scars are not faint. The scars I have are a deep brown or purplish and sometime white. I was a preemie, born as about 27 weeks weighing about 3 pounds 2 ounces and was 16 inches long. A beautiful baby just so excited to come into this crazy world, I couldn't wait the whole 40 weeks. I notice that went I save my had last year about this time I had scars from where the hospital put IVs in my head. Now at 20 I have close to 40 scars and all have a story that comes with them. but those are just the physical ones that everyone can see. The death of my Great-Grandparents and Great Uncle have left a heavy scar on my heart. Anytime I see: Tom and Jerry, Loony Tunes, Peaches, Toast or coffee, these are the thing that remind me how lucky I was to be raised with the help of grandparent and would not trade it for the world. But reminded me of a scar and in most cases a "good" scar that I have on my heart for them.

So if you know me or have ever stayed with me for a day you know that I now very graceful. This is something that came with my migraines. I fall and slip and that alone is the cause of two 2-3 inches scars on my shin from shaving. Yes shaving, they are not beautiful and are the 2 scar that people ask how and in the world this happen. I also have some scars that are jumping over the couch and scratching my thigh from a staple. And from burning myself when getting thing out of the oven.

Now the medical scars I have 10 of them and all were in a step to getting better. I have one on my lower hip, mid lower back, three in the middle of my back,  two on my neck and  2 on the right side of my head. Now those two are not visible because of my hair. The last one is on my ankle from were I pass out on the side walk.

So the point this blog is to embrace your scars. My parent ask me anything they see my scars how are you going to explains those scars because most of them are visible. If I am in a swim suit there even more but the truth is you don't have to love my body. It not something your carry around every day. I do. And I love who I am. Where I am at in life. Who I have become. I love my scars. To me it like carrying a scrapbook around where I go. It a piece of home. A piece of the road something less traveled upon. The scars I have remind me that I have fallen and have gotten back up and kept on moving forward.

This was me when I was born and My mom. 

So not a Daddy's Girl...lol When I was little I would fall asleep on me like this

My Dad and I now. Still a Daddy's Girl :)

Left or Right!?

No matter the road I take I know the destination will be amazing! As your reading this please don't feel sorry for me or in Texas some my say "bess your little heart." Dont feel bad or ask how do I handle this I know it has something to do with the man up stairs. So lets start with at story...I sure do love a story good or bad!

When I was on my family vacation to Washington D.C. in 2007 I got my first migraine and I remember my mom letting me sleep on a bench at The Arlington National cemetery. Rought day to say the least once returning home I try to return to normal my that was never something that would happen. So three months after that migriaine, I was still having them and my mom took me to a neurologist. The diagnose was Pseudotumor Cerebia. They gave me steroids and diamox (water removal pill). They also did a spinal tap to see what the pressure was measuring in my head.

Pseudotumor cerebri (PC)  literally means "false brain tumor." It is likely due to high pressure within the skull caused by the buildup or poor absorption of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF). The disorder is most common in women between the ages of 20 and 50. Symptoms of pseudotumor cerebri, which include headache, nausea, vomiting, and pulsating sounds within the head, closely mimic symptoms of large brain tumors. I had all of those symptoms. When I was being woken up my mom I would say to her to turn off the vacuum that was on my ears. I literally thought my head was going to explode and there was nothing anybody was going to do about it. This doctor who diagnosed me with OC was a least the 6th or 7th one. I have had 3 spinal taps and all of them where over 30 and normal in less then 10. I am very thankful tht there has been no lasting damage to mys eyes or brain. 

But as of September 18th I have been battling PC. And yes I am winning. The thing is there no cure, just treatment and remission. I believe it was caught very early because the only symptoms where headaches and migraines which felt better after laying flat for some time. I also had this rushing noise inside my head like a airplane was fixing to take off.  I am also thankful That I was in remission since September of 2008.  For right now I have choose to treat it with at water pill, Diamox. I NOT my favorite drug but it better then a spinal tap. I want to thank y'all for reading this post and know I appreciate your thoughts and prays. Please know I will be ok and this is not a set back just something to keep me ground and reminded me what really matters I this world!

Living Life! Feeling Free!

Life has been so busy with my school and work. I now drive to school two days a week and work three days a week. I really enjoy doing both add being able to come home to a home cooked meal with my family.

Chronic Migraine Awareness Fonder and Board Members came to my hometown of Houston Texas. It was wonderful to been them. We went to the mall to spread awareness and went ice skating. I also spoke it Advance Migraine Relief and Treatment Center seminar. I was not planning on and was so scary. I felt that I did a good job and I did enjoy sharing my story.

A Few people from CMA

Ice Skating with Cat the Fonder

I am feeling good and life is wonderful right now for me! I could not ask for anything more or less in life. I am also volunteering with Chronic Migraine Awareness and I am hoping to make a difference in this world and I believe this Non-profit Organization is the step in that direction.