Strong!

Some people say "You never know how strong you are until strong is the only choice you have." This is so true for me and my life. I have had many struggles in my life and many of them have made strong. As I look back on my life mainly the past eight years I can't help but think about the amount of pain I am and endure. Though I am now almost 10 months with only one major migraine I cannot help to think how blessed I have become. I am living life I am doing things that everyday people would do. I work 14 hour days six days a week though that may not be normal for most its beyond exciting for me. Exciting because I've never been able to be awake that much hours let alone work. My world is new and it's all because strong was the only choice I had, my only option of the time. Life hand me a pretty nasty sets of cards but I turns cards around and won the game, well in my eyes that it.

I sometimes wonder how I got though all of those dark times, those day I spent in my room crying because I was in so much pain and had no answers, none no one could help me, they just wanted to drug me. Or so it seems at times. I have to believe that the soul reason I made it through those five years with migraines was because I was strong, Strong in the fact that I put a smile on my face every day, strong in the fact that I did not give up I knew that wasn't an option, strong in the fact that I could not give up on hope. Hope for better days, hope for a miracle drug to help me, hope that somebody the right somebody would come along and take the pain away. Without being strong I do not believe that I would not be where I am today. 

Today I am A healthy 22 year old about to enter my fourth year college someone who smiles a lot, who love life! 

Where has the time gone?

It has been since posted here on this blog. I am sorry about that life been kind of busy.

In August my family welcomed a new member, My cousin named Maxwell. He is an Angel born the my Aunt Afton and Austin. My Aunt is only 10 years older than me and has made an amazing MOM and Maxwell is an amazing baby. 

Here He is!!! Thank God for answering so many prays.

We also sent my bother Taylor of to College to Stephen F. Austin. He is doing amazing there and learn a lot about life. I believe that being away from him has made us closer again...he never stops amazing me and alway making me laugh and smile.

Taylor, Maxwell and I at Christmas

School also started for me in August. In the Fall I took 14 credit hours. Statistics, Fitness for Living, Nutrition, Dance as Art and Physiology. I made all A's and a C in Physiology. This class was by far the hardest class I have ever taken. I learn a lot just didn't test well. I do plan to retake it this coming Fall (2014). Not this does push my application back a semester because that is a core class that I need a B or higher in for Nursing. But I am not going to let this stop me I am still going to fight to achieve my dream. This Spring I am taking 14 credit hours. Microbiology, College Algebra, American Sign Language and Medical Terminology. The first to class will be a Lone Star, due to the fact Sam Houston did not have any class available for me that fit in my work schedule but also I was getting tired of driving to Huntsville two days a week. The last two class are online classes through Sam. This allows me to stay enrolled to make it easier for applying to Nursing School. I still do not know were I will be going to Nursing school at and I just hope that I get in on the first round of application. 

Health wise I am doing good!!!! Headaches are low to not even there. I have been about four months without a Major Migraine (one that makes my world stop and I must go to bed). This is thanks to the Stimulator and a change in medication. I did get my Wisdom Teeth pulled in October and that was not fun at all. I was in pain for almost three weeks but I will say that I was very talkative on the way home and I must have been given some awesome meds because I went to Heaven. That right Heaven and I am very thankful for the message I was given. 

I plan on blogging more this year because this is going to be an amazing year. I can feel it. 

Personal Bill of Rights

This is a thing I found when I was researching Cognitive Therapy. And I really like it.

1. I have the right to ask for what I want.
2. I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can’t meet.
3. I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.
4. I have the right to change my mind.
5. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
6. I have the right to follow my own values and beliefs.
7. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it violates my values.
8. I have the right to determine my own priorities.
9. I have the right not to be responsible for others’ behavior, actions, feelings, or problems.
10. I have the right to expect honesty from others.
11. I have the right to be angry at someone I love.
12. I have the right to myself. To be Unique.
13. I have the right to express fear.
14. I have the right to say “I don’t know.”
15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.
16. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.
17. I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.
18. I have the right to be playful and frivolous.
19. I have the right to be healthier than those around me.
20. I have the right to feel safe, and be in a non abusive environment.
21. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
22. I have the right to change and grow.
23. I have the right to have my wants and needs respected by others.
24. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
25. I have the right to be happy

Those these may not all apply to you but these are rights that you can have in place for your whole life.

My Bucket List

1. Save a life
2. Make a difference in this world
3. Skydive
4. Visit a least 2/3 of the states
5. Visit each continents and stay there for a least a week
6. Be a Philanthropist
7. Own a horse or two
8. Have a ranch one day
9. Run/bike a marathon
10. Fall in love with someone who make me happy
11. Have my own child, and try for a natural birth.
12. Donate my bone marrow
13. To be an organ donor
14. Be a blond
15. To go a full year without needing surgery
16. Be a stay at home mom
17. Be a working mom
18. Be a hard working nurse that everyone looks up to
19. Teach someone how to be a nurse
20. To carry on my Great Grandma legacy
21. Learn to surf
22. Get married/renew vows in Savannah, Georgia
23. Deliver a baby
24. Learn how to run properly and enjoy it.
25. Learn to shoot a gun
26. Go hunting with my daddy.
27. Visit the 7 wonders of the World.
28. Go bungee jumping 
29. Learn to sail

I am coming up for Air!

Ok life has been crazy but welcome to the everyday life of Morgan. I no longer work at the daycare in my hometown. It was hard with school and I had very little time to study. I now work as a nanny for two doctors which I love. They treat me very well and I have a lot of fun with the children.  I also still work for a lady who is disable in a nearby town. She is a delight to work with.  She is such a fighter. She spend 64 days in the hospital and was hang by the skin of her teeth. So it just school and work for now.  I am so close to applying to nursing school! After this semester I will only have 21 more credits left to take. I am very excited to be so close to finish the pre recs....

This month mark my two year anniversary for my stimulator was original implant. It amazes me how time flies. I am also very bless to have found something that helps with my pain. I hope to update my blog more often, I just have been so busy.

Where the Time go? My Life now.

Life has been busy to say the least. I have been working and going to school, like normal. Now school is over (as of yesterday) and I did pretty well. I made two A's and two B's on my finals and all B's in my Class. Next semester I will be taking Human Anatomy, Human Anatomy Lab, Pre-Calculus Algebra and Developmental Psychology. I am very excited to take these class and hope that I do well.

My health is well for now. I say this because I never know when I will be sick again. I hope it never but I know that wont be true. I feel that my Pseudotumar Cerebra is in remission but I wont know for sure until I go back to my neurologist in January. My migraines are back under control with a new adjustment I had this past week. So I believe it is safe to say I am well

This year Christmas had approached very fast. I have not done any of my shopping yet. I know that there is still time but it a weird feeling no having it done yet. This Christmas will be the first time I will be well as far as with my Migraines and infection. Ever since I was 13 I have be sick with Migraines. And then last year I had a infection. I had to open my Christmas present with a PICC line in my arm to take my antibiotics. I am thankful that I am well now and that I now can say I have good health.

Tho this Christmas will be a first for my health in along time but also a first without my Great-Grandma Gee-Gee.  She was such a loving soul and is dearly missed but I am thankful she is in a better place. She is not suffering anymore. I like to believe she is with her three boys and her loving husband. I believe he was waiting on the other side of the moon for her like he promise. Never have I seen two people so in love with each other. It was a beautiful thing what they had. I was so bless to be apart of their life.

This Cat (the co-founder of CMA) She came down to
Houston, Texas for a  stim Trial . I was so Great to be
her Host while she was here.

This is My Great-Grandma, Gee-Gee, and I last Christmas.
So Thankful I got to spend time with her to make that
Christmas Memorable.   

I became a God Mother to my Best Friend son
BLAKE 

Me and Blake

On Thanksgiving I did a fun run with my
Mommie and Brother. It was fun even though
we only did the walk.

My Brother, His Girlfriend and I, decoration our
Christmas tree. Love spending time with my family. 

Oh and I Love to babysit this little Turkeys. They are some
amazing little people.

Who I am and what I become simply amazes me.

I am just a simple girl trying to change the world! 

Q&A about My stimulator for my Migraines

What do the stimulator feel like?

It a very light tingling feeling. It very soothing and relaxing to me. If you have ever had a TENS unit placed on any part of your body that what it feels like. This feel of the stimulator is unlike any most sensation and is hard to explain, is just something you would have to feel in person. 

Where is it located at in the body?

The battery or the generator to the whole system sits either in the hip area of the back or in the chest. I, myself have it in my right upper hip. I know a few who have it in their chest. They are place just under the skin; on top of the muscle. The wires or the leads are tunneled under skin just like a IV is placed. The wires are tunneled  through small incision from the hip, mid-back, neck, side-of-head and hair line.

How does it work?

The four leads are place on the suborbital nerves and the optical nerve in the neck. The leads are place on top of the nerves and sent electrical impulse to these nerves. Because these nerve are sometime responsible for the migraines the Neurostimulator interrupter to nerve from sending the message to the brain that it in pain.  You also have a remote that allows you to adjust the sensation that the wire and the battery products. This is what you us to help make the migraine pain decrease. Each person like a different program or vibration of the wires. This is something  that is costume to you. Everyone is different and so is every migraine! 

What limitation do you have right after surgery?

The limitation right after surgery is not to lift heavy things  and that about it. The doctors encourage you to move and rotation your neck to prevent a large amount of scar tissue to appear. You can drive with it and do all your normal activities. You can also do a wide range of sport from swimming to rock climbing.  I was implanted on a Thursday and the following Tuesday I was showing chickens of a school project on little pain medication.

What should I watch for after surgery?

There is nothing different from any other surgery. So the most important is infection! Once you get a infection in a incision then it will be on the hardware (battery and wires) and once that happens then the infection is very hard to cure and to heal properly. It important to stay out of water while you are healing, only take shower or short baths. No pools, hot tubs, lakes, ponds, rivers, or oceans. Anywhere there could be bacteria. Keep in mind that everyone heals differently, so it could be 6 weeks or 4 months. 

What limitation do you have after recovery?

It depends on the type of work. I was about to return to work as a nanny with in a week. I just depends on how your recovering but a week is a good amount of time. Unless you have to do heavy lifting as apart of your work.

What the recovery like?

It all depend on the person and the age. I was 18 when I had mine implant and like I said I return to school (High School) in a week. For me my hip incision was the most painful to heal and it could of been how active I was. I couldn't wear blue jeans for about a month and a half because of the pain. But all and all it is easy process.

Is the Stimulator visible to other people?

Not usually. The battery might be visible if it not implanted very deep and if you are wearing something very tight. The wire in the forehead are not normal visible but it all depends on the person and their body. 

Can you feel the wires or battery that are under the skin?

You  can not feel them just by themselves. By this I mean that you can't close your eyes and just simply feel the wires come from your battery to your nerves.  Now if you were to touch it with your finger then yes you can feel it but that is with your finger. Now the battery you can't feel it that often. Now if you are jump or running then you may feel the batter shift in the pocket that it is in .

How much has it decreased your pain?

I went from a non-stop migraine at 8 or a 9 most of the time to a low headache. A headache being a one to a five. I still get few

migraines but not like I did. I am able to stop a bad headache from turning to a full blow migraine with the adjustment of my stimulator.

Can you go swimming with your Stimulator?

Yes, you can go swimming with a stimulator. It is all inside your body so there no way you can be electrocuted. Also long as your incision is fully healed you should be OK. Also you can do all most any activity that  you set your mind to.

Is the stimulation annoying or bothersome? 

Not usually, it a very relaxing feeling I believe for people you have headaches. I have found that sometime if my stimulator is up to high then it can hurt or feel very uncomfortable but you can fix this by turning the stimulator off for a little while or turning it down. I have met one person who found the stimulator to be too annoying and not helpful at all and request to have it removed but out of the many of people I have meet this was only one.

  

What it like flying with your Stimulator? What should I expected?

There not much differences then when you normal fly. If the airport does not have the x-ray machine then you will most likely get a patted down. Which is not to bad but  not fun either. You can as to be patted down in private but either way there you wont have to remove your clothes or show them the battery. If the airport does have a x-ray machine the you will walk through it and you would have no problem. You are also given a card when you are implanted to show the official. You also want to remember to pack your charger and remote in you carry on. In case you bags get lost then you won't have to worry about replacing them. You might also have to take your charger case out of your bag because of the thick padding that in it. I had my bags search once because they couldn't see through it. So now I just take it out to prevent it.