Strong!

Some people say "You never know how strong you are until strong is the only choice you have." This is so true for me and my life. I have had many struggles in my life and many of them have made strong. As I look back on my life mainly the past eight years I can't help but think about the amount of pain I am and endure. Though I am now almost 10 months with only one major migraine I cannot help to think how blessed I have become. I am living life I am doing things that everyday people would do. I work 14 hour days six days a week though that may not be normal for most its beyond exciting for me. Exciting because I've never been able to be awake that much hours let alone work. My world is new and it's all because strong was the only choice I had, my only option of the time. Life hand me a pretty nasty sets of cards but I turns cards around and won the game, well in my eyes that it.

I sometimes wonder how I got though all of those dark times, those day I spent in my room crying because I was in so much pain and had no answers, none no one could help me, they just wanted to drug me. Or so it seems at times. I have to believe that the soul reason I made it through those five years with migraines was because I was strong, Strong in the fact that I put a smile on my face every day, strong in the fact that I did not give up I knew that wasn't an option, strong in the fact that I could not give up on hope. Hope for better days, hope for a miracle drug to help me, hope that somebody the right somebody would come along and take the pain away. Without being strong I do not believe that I would not be where I am today. 

Today I am A healthy 22 year old about to enter my fourth year college someone who smiles a lot, who love life! 

Where has the time gone?

It has been since posted here on this blog. I am sorry about that life been kind of busy.

In August my family welcomed a new member, My cousin named Maxwell. He is an Angel born the my Aunt Afton and Austin. My Aunt is only 10 years older than me and has made an amazing MOM and Maxwell is an amazing baby. 

Here He is!!! Thank God for answering so many prays.

We also sent my bother Taylor of to College to Stephen F. Austin. He is doing amazing there and learn a lot about life. I believe that being away from him has made us closer again...he never stops amazing me and alway making me laugh and smile.

Taylor, Maxwell and I at Christmas

School also started for me in August. In the Fall I took 14 credit hours. Statistics, Fitness for Living, Nutrition, Dance as Art and Physiology. I made all A's and a C in Physiology. This class was by far the hardest class I have ever taken. I learn a lot just didn't test well. I do plan to retake it this coming Fall (2014). Not this does push my application back a semester because that is a core class that I need a B or higher in for Nursing. But I am not going to let this stop me I am still going to fight to achieve my dream. This Spring I am taking 14 credit hours. Microbiology, College Algebra, American Sign Language and Medical Terminology. The first to class will be a Lone Star, due to the fact Sam Houston did not have any class available for me that fit in my work schedule but also I was getting tired of driving to Huntsville two days a week. The last two class are online classes through Sam. This allows me to stay enrolled to make it easier for applying to Nursing School. I still do not know were I will be going to Nursing school at and I just hope that I get in on the first round of application. 

Health wise I am doing good!!!! Headaches are low to not even there. I have been about four months without a Major Migraine (one that makes my world stop and I must go to bed). This is thanks to the Stimulator and a change in medication. I did get my Wisdom Teeth pulled in October and that was not fun at all. I was in pain for almost three weeks but I will say that I was very talkative on the way home and I must have been given some awesome meds because I went to Heaven. That right Heaven and I am very thankful for the message I was given. 

I plan on blogging more this year because this is going to be an amazing year. I can feel it. 

Personal Bill of Rights

This is a thing I found when I was researching Cognitive Therapy. And I really like it.

1. I have the right to ask for what I want.
2. I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can’t meet.
3. I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.
4. I have the right to change my mind.
5. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
6. I have the right to follow my own values and beliefs.
7. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it violates my values.
8. I have the right to determine my own priorities.
9. I have the right not to be responsible for others’ behavior, actions, feelings, or problems.
10. I have the right to expect honesty from others.
11. I have the right to be angry at someone I love.
12. I have the right to myself. To be Unique.
13. I have the right to express fear.
14. I have the right to say “I don’t know.”
15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.
16. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.
17. I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.
18. I have the right to be playful and frivolous.
19. I have the right to be healthier than those around me.
20. I have the right to feel safe, and be in a non abusive environment.
21. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
22. I have the right to change and grow.
23. I have the right to have my wants and needs respected by others.
24. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
25. I have the right to be happy

Those these may not all apply to you but these are rights that you can have in place for your whole life.

My Bucket List

1. Save a life
2. Make a difference in this world
3. Skydive
4. Visit a least 2/3 of the states
5. Visit each continents and stay there for a least a week
6. Be a Philanthropist
7. Own a horse or two
8. Have a ranch one day
9. Run/bike a marathon
10. Fall in love with someone who make me happy
11. Have my own child, and try for a natural birth.
12. Donate my bone marrow
13. To be an organ donor
14. Be a blond
15. To go a full year without needing surgery
16. Be a stay at home mom
17. Be a working mom
18. Be a hard working nurse that everyone looks up to
19. Teach someone how to be a nurse
20. To carry on my Great Grandma legacy
21. Learn to surf
22. Get married/renew vows in Savannah, Georgia
23. Deliver a baby
24. Learn how to run properly and enjoy it.
25. Learn to shoot a gun
26. Go hunting with my daddy.
27. Visit the 7 wonders of the World.
28. Go bungee jumping 
29. Learn to sail

I am coming up for Air!

Ok life has been crazy but welcome to the everyday life of Morgan. I no longer work at the daycare in my hometown. It was hard with school and I had very little time to study. I now work as a nanny for two doctors which I love. They treat me very well and I have a lot of fun with the children.  I also still work for a lady who is disable in a nearby town. She is a delight to work with.  She is such a fighter. She spend 64 days in the hospital and was hang by the skin of her teeth. So it just school and work for now.  I am so close to applying to nursing school! After this semester I will only have 21 more credits left to take. I am very excited to be so close to finish the pre recs....

This month mark my two year anniversary for my stimulator was original implant. It amazes me how time flies. I am also very bless to have found something that helps with my pain. I hope to update my blog more often, I just have been so busy.

Where the Time go? My Life now.

Life has been busy to say the least. I have been working and going to school, like normal. Now school is over (as of yesterday) and I did pretty well. I made two A's and two B's on my finals and all B's in my Class. Next semester I will be taking Human Anatomy, Human Anatomy Lab, Pre-Calculus Algebra and Developmental Psychology. I am very excited to take these class and hope that I do well.

My health is well for now. I say this because I never know when I will be sick again. I hope it never but I know that wont be true. I feel that my Pseudotumar Cerebra is in remission but I wont know for sure until I go back to my neurologist in January. My migraines are back under control with a new adjustment I had this past week. So I believe it is safe to say I am well

This year Christmas had approached very fast. I have not done any of my shopping yet. I know that there is still time but it a weird feeling no having it done yet. This Christmas will be the first time I will be well as far as with my Migraines and infection. Ever since I was 13 I have be sick with Migraines. And then last year I had a infection. I had to open my Christmas present with a PICC line in my arm to take my antibiotics. I am thankful that I am well now and that I now can say I have good health.

Tho this Christmas will be a first for my health in along time but also a first without my Great-Grandma Gee-Gee.  She was such a loving soul and is dearly missed but I am thankful she is in a better place. She is not suffering anymore. I like to believe she is with her three boys and her loving husband. I believe he was waiting on the other side of the moon for her like he promise. Never have I seen two people so in love with each other. It was a beautiful thing what they had. I was so bless to be apart of their life.

This Cat (the co-founder of CMA) She came down to
Houston, Texas for a  stim Trial . I was so Great to be
her Host while she was here.

This is My Great-Grandma, Gee-Gee, and I last Christmas.
So Thankful I got to spend time with her to make that
Christmas Memorable.   

I became a God Mother to my Best Friend son
BLAKE 

Me and Blake

On Thanksgiving I did a fun run with my
Mommie and Brother. It was fun even though
we only did the walk.

My Brother, His Girlfriend and I, decoration our
Christmas tree. Love spending time with my family. 

Oh and I Love to babysit this little Turkeys. They are some
amazing little people.

Who I am and what I become simply amazes me.

I am just a simple girl trying to change the world! 

Q&A about My stimulator for my Migraines

What do the stimulator feel like?

It a very light tingling feeling. It very soothing and relaxing to me. If you have ever had a TENS unit placed on any part of your body that what it feels like. This feel of the stimulator is unlike any most sensation and is hard to explain, is just something you would have to feel in person. 

Where is it located at in the body?

The battery or the generator to the whole system sits either in the hip area of the back or in the chest. I, myself have it in my right upper hip. I know a few who have it in their chest. They are place just under the skin; on top of the muscle. The wires or the leads are tunneled under skin just like a IV is placed. The wires are tunneled  through small incision from the hip, mid-back, neck, side-of-head and hair line.

How does it work?

The four leads are place on the suborbital nerves and the optical nerve in the neck. The leads are place on top of the nerves and sent electrical impulse to these nerves. Because these nerve are sometime responsible for the migraines the Neurostimulator interrupter to nerve from sending the message to the brain that it in pain.  You also have a remote that allows you to adjust the sensation that the wire and the battery products. This is what you us to help make the migraine pain decrease. Each person like a different program or vibration of the wires. This is something  that is costume to you. Everyone is different and so is every migraine! 

What limitation do you have right after surgery?

The limitation right after surgery is not to lift heavy things  and that about it. The doctors encourage you to move and rotation your neck to prevent a large amount of scar tissue to appear. You can drive with it and do all your normal activities. You can also do a wide range of sport from swimming to rock climbing.  I was implanted on a Thursday and the following Tuesday I was showing chickens of a school project on little pain medication.

What should I watch for after surgery?

There is nothing different from any other surgery. So the most important is infection! Once you get a infection in a incision then it will be on the hardware (battery and wires) and once that happens then the infection is very hard to cure and to heal properly. It important to stay out of water while you are healing, only take shower or short baths. No pools, hot tubs, lakes, ponds, rivers, or oceans. Anywhere there could be bacteria. Keep in mind that everyone heals differently, so it could be 6 weeks or 4 months. 

What limitation do you have after recovery?

It depends on the type of work. I was about to return to work as a nanny with in a week. I just depends on how your recovering but a week is a good amount of time. Unless you have to do heavy lifting as apart of your work.

What the recovery like?

It all depend on the person and the age. I was 18 when I had mine implant and like I said I return to school (High School) in a week. For me my hip incision was the most painful to heal and it could of been how active I was. I couldn't wear blue jeans for about a month and a half because of the pain. But all and all it is easy process.

Is the Stimulator visible to other people?

Not usually. The battery might be visible if it not implanted very deep and if you are wearing something very tight. The wire in the forehead are not normal visible but it all depends on the person and their body. 

Can you feel the wires or battery that are under the skin?

You  can not feel them just by themselves. By this I mean that you can't close your eyes and just simply feel the wires come from your battery to your nerves.  Now if you were to touch it with your finger then yes you can feel it but that is with your finger. Now the battery you can't feel it that often. Now if you are jump or running then you may feel the batter shift in the pocket that it is in .

How much has it decreased your pain?

I went from a non-stop migraine at 8 or a 9 most of the time to a low headache. A headache being a one to a five. I still get few

migraines but not like I did. I am able to stop a bad headache from turning to a full blow migraine with the adjustment of my stimulator.

Can you go swimming with your Stimulator?

Yes, you can go swimming with a stimulator. It is all inside your body so there no way you can be electrocuted. Also long as your incision is fully healed you should be OK. Also you can do all most any activity that  you set your mind to.

Is the stimulation annoying or bothersome? 

Not usually, it a very relaxing feeling I believe for people you have headaches. I have found that sometime if my stimulator is up to high then it can hurt or feel very uncomfortable but you can fix this by turning the stimulator off for a little while or turning it down. I have met one person who found the stimulator to be too annoying and not helpful at all and request to have it removed but out of the many of people I have meet this was only one.

  

What it like flying with your Stimulator? What should I expected?

There not much differences then when you normal fly. If the airport does not have the x-ray machine then you will most likely get a patted down. Which is not to bad but  not fun either. You can as to be patted down in private but either way there you wont have to remove your clothes or show them the battery. If the airport does have a x-ray machine the you will walk through it and you would have no problem. You are also given a card when you are implanted to show the official. You also want to remember to pack your charger and remote in you carry on. In case you bags get lost then you won't have to worry about replacing them. You might also have to take your charger case out of your bag because of the thick padding that in it. I had my bags search once because they couldn't see through it. So now I just take it out to prevent it.   

I miss my headaches....

These were the words that fell out of mouth a month after my Neuro Stimulator  implant.

How could you miss pain, something that made me suffer for years and turn you into a totally different person. I didn't know that the pain changed me but it did. I was quite and reserved with my words but more importantly I didn't talk about my emotional feelings, only my physical feelings, but what normal teenager does. After being implanted I was happy, happy the pain was gone, that I could live a normal "healthy" life. But then I was sad because I want to be that person I was five years ago.

I didn't know that I could be the type of person who could suffer from depression. I always held a smile on my face. I was happy. Happy to be alive, to get to travel and see the world, and to meet extraordinary people like the president (41 Bush). I got to be in Girl Scout and help change the world with my love of giving and help others. I thought that no one with this love in her heart to help change the world and bring smiles to people's face could ever suffer from depression.

At first I was embarrassed that someone my age (18) and with the thing I have in life could suffer from depression. But then I took a moment and I thought for five year you stuffed all the pain (emotional and physical) down and out of the way so that was not what people see that in you. Then I thought that it is understandable you have been in pain for five years. You are not use to living a painfree life. Your normal has changed over night. The thing I remember most when I told someone (medical personal) I missed my headaches was "that the craziest thing I ever heard." In that moment I thought how could this be so weird and nothing she has hear before. I felt alone and that everybody wanted me to be back to the girl I was five years ago. And the fact was I was not that person, the pain I felt daily changed me and I didn't know how to express that. As I came to terms with suffering from depression and realizing I probably have had it for more then five years. I then thought of what I need to do to get better.

I would need start doing therapy. I not sure how but I was place with a therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy. I didn't know it at the time but this therapy works with changing the way you think. Because the way you think is connected to the way you feel. That was probably the best choice I ever had to make was to open up to someone who I've never met before and who has no clue what my life is like outside the four wall of this office. I wasn't easy but it had to done. I have made great improvement with my depression. I don't feel depressed anymore but know that it a possibility for it come back. With what I have gone thought and now the stress of work and going to school I know that I could me easy for me to fall back in to that state. It a consent work in progress.

I am not say therapy is for everyone and that will fix your depression. I have tried the medication but found it only as a temporary fix to my problem. The important thing is to be sure to ask for help before it too late. You are also not the only one who is struggling with depression. But also it a understandable illness with that amount of stress people are put under today.

I am well and still go to therapy to help keep myself in check. I am only a year and a held out from surgery. And the passed year medical wise has been a roller coaster ride. I have said it before and will say it again I wouldn't trade it for the world. All this pain has made me who I am and at the end of the day that all that matter.

Live Life to the FULLEST!

It the Little Thing I Life!

Something you may not know about my is I am hearing impaired. I have been for all of my life. I do not know the way it like to hear at a "normal" level. If I can see you lips moving I can understand pretty much everything your saying.

Brought tears to my eyes! Being hearing impaired myself, I thank God for not taking all of my hearing away but just enough to remind me that it the little thing it life that matter the most!

A Creed To Live By

• Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.
• Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you. 
• Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless. 
• Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.
• Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
• Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other. 
• Don't be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave. 
• Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give love. The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings. 
• Don't dismiss your dreams. To be without dreams is to be without hope; to be without hope is to be without purpose. 
• Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where you're going. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way. 

 ~ Nancye Sims ~

Live Life to the FULLEST!

Struggles that Made Me Who I am

Many of y'all who know me know that I have suffered from chronic migraines. I have had them since I was 13 years old and now that I am 20 years old. I have been pain free to a year and six months. Migraines has not been my only medical (or life for that matter) struggle. 

In a previous post I talked about have Pseudotumor Cerebri  I have had that now a total of four times now and three times the resolved with a spinal tap. My last spinal tap was traumatic and required me to go to the ER two days later because my parent could not get me to wake up and be fully responsive. There I was told I was very dehydrated because I lost too much spinal fluid.

The very thing that has allow me to be pain free would cause a struggle due to a infection. I got a infection in a incision in my back. I had no way of checking it because I went to work at summer camp three month after being implanted. I was given the all clear but I am not sure where the infection came from but with the lack of feeling and have no one to check it for me. I developed an infection that I would later find out that that I had it for a month or two before receiving treatment. The first step was oral antibiotics and having the doctor go in and clean the infection out. After a month I was not responding and we put on IV antibiotics and had to have a PICC line. The PICC line is place under fluroscopy (real-time x-ray) and it goes from a point on your upper arm (in a vein) then goes closes to your heart. By doing this this allows the medicine to be distributed equally throughout the body.  After that was implanted I did a month and a half of two times a day IV antibiotics. This was hard for my and my family because even with the medicine I was getting sicker and sicker. I was left with but to have my stimulator remove. Even after it was removed I would have to do IV treatment and use Medihony on my incision to help them heal and prevent another infection. I waited three months and the was implant again with the stim and all was good. Then about month later I was showing sign of infection and had to do the whole PICC line and IV antibiotics over again but thankfully for only a month and I was good. With the stim I also had to have revision to fixes wires and to move the battery. With the stim alone I have had eight surgeries. And would go through it all again if I had too.

This is a bad picture of me but it show where my PICC line is
 inserted into the arm. Still smiling through the ups and downs in my life.

This the tube of Medihoney. I really like it cause it help protect slow
 healing wound like surgical ones from getting infected. I have mainly
 use it in infected wound and it great and helps it heal.

Before I found the stim for my headache I did Botox and nerve blocks of all kind. Along with just about every drug on the market that the doctor believe could help me. Some,well three of the nerve block were done while I was I twilight zone. I also did physical therapy and chiropractic therapy.  

Before migraines and headaches my mom would say that I was a healthy child. But for me that include Earache and Severs disease. I had really had earache from as long as I can remember till about 12 years old. I had tube implanted seven different times and I had my tonsils and adenoids remove at the age of five.  Because of my earaches I was left with deafness in both ears. To me this has no effect on me because I do not know any different and i am really good lip reader. Sever disease is where the platelets in your feet become inflamed and put pressure on the bones and makes it painful to walk or even wiggle your toes. I got this because I was over dancing on pointe in ballet. The treatment was to stop dancing on that foot. The doctor never said I could dance on the other on and so I did but that would bit me in the butt because I would get it I the other foot and have to use a wheelchair for walking more the twenty steps. I was told that if I didn't do as I was told it could result in fracturing of the bones.  Which would been a cast and the whole nine yards. 

These are just my medical problems that I remember I was born at 27 week. Which means I was 13 weeks early and that was a struggle all it own. So I have always had a struggle in my life and every age. But the medical struggles were not the only kind I had I also have learning disabilities.

Since I was born early I was developmentally delay with everything but mainly my speech and walking. I did not speck till I was four years old and truth be told my family can't shut me up now. So once I started school I would be pulled for speech lesson. I also had to work hard to write and use a pencil. After a few years in school I was diagnosed with ADHD, hearing impairment, reading disability. I would out grow the ADHD.  I was always treated differently I felt thought I did need the help. I just wish I was seen as different but not less myteachers manly in elementary and now some in college. 

To this day I struggle with a reading disorder, hearing impairment, dyslexia, migraines (yes I am pain free but the stim is like a bandage it just covers up the wound)and I also pass out for unknown reason. Because the doctor do not know why I am passing out I have a heart monitor implant in my chest to monitor my heart rate. I also struggle with short term memory like if my mom asked me to do something if it not written down I will not remember. I also will think of a word and go to say it and it come out different than what I planned to say. An example would be for dishwasher it may come out as dryer. I know what each one is but my brain mixes them up.

Yes all of these things suck and my life different from your average Joe or Jane but the truth is I wouldn't have it any other way. My life is beautiful and I learn so many thing that not your everyday 20 year old has learned or seen. I am strong, I am a fighter. I stand up for things I believe in and more importantly I do not want to disrespected other beliefs. I help when I can. I want to make the world a better place. I want to dream big and if I miss I know I land in the stars. For me Failure is not an option. 

Love this Quote!

Scars...

We all have one whether it visible or not.

"There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with." ~ Harry Crews

I don't remember my first cut of the skin that would leave a scar or what it like to live without. I know that my skin is a beautiful olive/tan color and the scars are not faint. The scars I have are a deep brown or purplish and sometime white. I was a preemie, born as about 27 weeks weighing about 3 pounds 2 ounces and was 16 inches long. A beautiful baby just so excited to come into this crazy world, I couldn't wait the whole 40 weeks. I notice that went I save my had last year about this time I had scars from where the hospital put IVs in my head. Now at 20 I have close to 40 scars and all have a story that comes with them. but those are just the physical ones that everyone can see. The death of my Great-Grandparents and Great Uncle have left a heavy scar on my heart. Anytime I see: Tom and Jerry, Loony Tunes, Peaches, Toast or coffee, these are the thing that remind me how lucky I was to be raised with the help of grandparent and would not trade it for the world. But reminded me of a scar and in most cases a "good" scar that I have on my heart for them.

So if you know me or have ever stayed with me for a day you know that I now very graceful. This is something that came with my migraines. I fall and slip and that alone is the cause of two 2-3 inches scars on my shin from shaving. Yes shaving, they are not beautiful and are the 2 scar that people ask how and in the world this happen. I also have some scars that are jumping over the couch and scratching my thigh from a staple. And from burning myself when getting thing out of the oven.

Now the medical scars I have 10 of them and all were in a step to getting better. I have one on my lower hip, mid lower back, three in the middle of my back,  two on my neck and  2 on the right side of my head. Now those two are not visible because of my hair. The last one is on my ankle from were I pass out on the side walk.

So the point this blog is to embrace your scars. My parent ask me anything they see my scars how are you going to explains those scars because most of them are visible. If I am in a swim suit there even more but the truth is you don't have to love my body. It not something your carry around every day. I do. And I love who I am. Where I am at in life. Who I have become. I love my scars. To me it like carrying a scrapbook around where I go. It a piece of home. A piece of the road something less traveled upon. The scars I have remind me that I have fallen and have gotten back up and kept on moving forward.

This was me when I was born and My mom. 

So not a Daddy's Girl...lol When I was little I would fall asleep on me like this

My Dad and I now. Still a Daddy's Girl :)

Left or Right!?

No matter the road I take I know the destination will be amazing! As your reading this please don't feel sorry for me or in Texas some my say "bess your little heart." Dont feel bad or ask how do I handle this I know it has something to do with the man up stairs. So lets start with at story...I sure do love a story good or bad!

When I was on my family vacation to Washington D.C. in 2007 I got my first migraine and I remember my mom letting me sleep on a bench at The Arlington National cemetery. Rought day to say the least once returning home I try to return to normal my that was never something that would happen. So three months after that migriaine, I was still having them and my mom took me to a neurologist. The diagnose was Pseudotumor Cerebia. They gave me steroids and diamox (water removal pill). They also did a spinal tap to see what the pressure was measuring in my head.

Pseudotumor cerebri (PC)  literally means "false brain tumor." It is likely due to high pressure within the skull caused by the buildup or poor absorption of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF). The disorder is most common in women between the ages of 20 and 50. Symptoms of pseudotumor cerebri, which include headache, nausea, vomiting, and pulsating sounds within the head, closely mimic symptoms of large brain tumors. I had all of those symptoms. When I was being woken up my mom I would say to her to turn off the vacuum that was on my ears. I literally thought my head was going to explode and there was nothing anybody was going to do about it. This doctor who diagnosed me with OC was a least the 6th or 7th one. I have had 3 spinal taps and all of them where over 30 and normal in less then 10. I am very thankful tht there has been no lasting damage to mys eyes or brain. 

But as of September 18th I have been battling PC. And yes I am winning. The thing is there no cure, just treatment and remission. I believe it was caught very early because the only symptoms where headaches and migraines which felt better after laying flat for some time. I also had this rushing noise inside my head like a airplane was fixing to take off.  I am also thankful That I was in remission since September of 2008.  For right now I have choose to treat it with at water pill, Diamox. I NOT my favorite drug but it better then a spinal tap. I want to thank y'all for reading this post and know I appreciate your thoughts and prays. Please know I will be ok and this is not a set back just something to keep me ground and reminded me what really matters I this world!

Living Life! Feeling Free!

Life has been so busy with my school and work. I now drive to school two days a week and work three days a week. I really enjoy doing both add being able to come home to a home cooked meal with my family.

Chronic Migraine Awareness Fonder and Board Members came to my hometown of Houston Texas. It was wonderful to been them. We went to the mall to spread awareness and went ice skating. I also spoke it Advance Migraine Relief and Treatment Center seminar. I was not planning on and was so scary. I felt that I did a good job and I did enjoy sharing my story.

A Few people from CMA

Ice Skating with Cat the Fonder

I am feeling good and life is wonderful right now for me! I could not ask for anything more or less in life. I am also volunteering with Chronic Migraine Awareness and I am hoping to make a difference in this world and I believe this Non-profit Organization is the step in that direction. 

My Paint Brush!

I keep my paint brush with me Wherever I may go, In case I need to cover up So the real me doesn’t show. I’m so afraid to show you me, Afraid of what you’ll do – that You might laugh or say mean things. I’m afraid I might lose you. I’d like to remove all my paint coats To show you the real, true me, But I want you to try and understand, I need you to accept what you see. So if you’ll be patient and close your eyes, I’ll strip off all my coats real slow. Please understand how much it hurts To let the real me show. Now my coats are all stripped off. I feel naked, bare and cold, And if you still love Me with all that you see, You are my friend, pure as gold. I need to save my paint brush, though, And hold it in my hand, I want to keep it handy In case somebody doesn’t understand. So please protect me, my dear friend And thanks for loving me true, But please let me keep my paint brush with me Until I love me, too.

Dare you to dream!

This is one of my favorite poems of all time! Let nothing hold you back from exploring your wildest fantasies, wishes, and aspirations. Don't be afraid to dream big and to follow your dreams wherever they may lead you. Open your eyes to their beauty; open your mind to their magic; open your heart to their possibilities. Dare to dream. Whether they are in color  or in black and white, whether they are big or small, easily attainable or almost impossible, look to your dreams, and make them become reality. Wishes and hopes are nothing until you take the first step towards making them something! Dare to dream, Because only by dreaming, will you ever discover who you are, what you want, and what you can do. Don't be afraid to take risks, to become involved, to make commitment. Do whatever it takes to make your dreams come true. Always believe in miracles, and always believe in you! ~ Julie Anne Ford ~ 

Life as I know it :)

Wow! I have been so busy lately. I am doing my second class for the summer. I did American Government in the month of June and now I am doing Texas Government. I am really not enjoy it but it is somewhat easy, but it has a lot of writing. This will be my last class at Texas Woman's University and then I will start class on August 30 at Sam Houston State University. I will be taking 12 credit hour on Tuesday and Thursday.

I am also working at a Daycare in my Hometown and also a caregiver for a person who has a disability. I really enjoy working and helping others. It really make me happy and feel that I have a purpose in life. I think that the rest of the year is going to be crazy with living at home, going to school and having two part-time job. I can not wait to get all of my pre-recs for nursing school so that I can apply and take the next step in achieving my dream on becoming a nurse.

My headaches and migraines are back under control. My battery would not charge for a month because my charger was broke, but once I received my new charger I was back to new. I really enjoy having a battery to control my headaches. I have heard many of different stories about neruo stimulation for migraines and not all of them have a happy ending. I am so thankful that my system works and controls my pain. I am glad that my medical condition is slowly getting better. I did find out a few days ago that I have to have a Internal  Cardiac Monitor. This will stay in my body for two years and it will record my heart beat every second of everyday. The hopes for implanting this is for my doctor to see what happens with my heart in the moment when I pass out.

So life is good right now, I am busy and going to school. I have a loving family and so thankful I can spend just one more day with them.

International: Peripheral Nerve Stimulation (PNS)

PNS is commercially available for use in select international markets.

Peripheral Nerve Stimulation of the occipital nerves is a new therapy for intractable chronic migraine and is only approved in select international markets.

St. Jude Medical Neuromodulation Division is a pioneer in developing technologies for the management of chronic pain and other neurological disorders. With innovations such as constant current stimulation delivery, we have been a leader of the neuromodulation industry for over 30 years. We are now applying our proven technology to provide a new option for managing the pain and disability associated with intractable chronic migraine.

A Proven Technology with Significant Advantages

A randomized double-blind, controlled study of chronic migraine sufferers who used St. Jude Medical PNS systems revealed the following:¹

Reduction in Overall Disability
At 12 weeks, the Migraine Disability Assessment (MIDAS)
questionnaire indicated participants in the active group
had a 41% reduction in overall disability compared to a
13% reduction in the control group.


Reduction in Headache Days
At 12 weeks, patients who received stimulation reported a
36% decrease in their number of headache days compared
to the control group which reported a 25% decrease.

Quality of Life
At one year, 68% of patients reported that their
quality of life improved, 26% reported that it
stayed the same, and 5% reported that their
quality of life deteriorated.

Recomendation
At one year, 88% of patients reported that they would
recommend the procedure to someone else and
12% reported that they would not.

How PNS Works

Neurostimulation systems are designed to regulate the body’s electrical systems. They function much like pacemakers, except that instead of sending pulses to the heart, the leads carry the pulses to the occipital nerves, changing the way the pain signals are transmitted. This localized delivery does not produce lingering systemic side effects—a common problem with migraine drugs.

A neurostimulation system consists of the following components:

Neurostimulator
A stopwatch-sized device containing the battery and electronics that create the pulses which stimulate the nerves

Leads and Extensions
Wires that carry the pulses from the neurostimulator to the nerves

Patient Programmer
A remote control device that enables the patient to turn the neurostimulator on and off and adjust power levels

Clinician Programmer
A remote control device that enables a clinician to program the neurostimulator and adjust stimulation

Who May Be a Candidate

Patients who have been diagnosed with intractable chronic migraine may be candidates for peripheral nerve stimulation. Intractable chronic migraine is defined as headache lasting at least 4 hours per day for 15 or more days per month, not responding to three or more preventive drugs, and causing at least moderate disability (determined using a validated migraine disability instrument [e.g., MIDAS or HIT-6]).

1. Silberstein S, Dodick D, Saper J, et al. The safety and efficacy of peripheral nerve stimulation of the occipital nerve for the management of chronic migraine. Poster presented at: 15th Congress of the International Headache Society; June 23-26, 2011; Berlin, Germany.

Website that I go this information from and also the company that I have my battery through. I also have two more contacts then this the pictures that above. 

http://www.sjmneuropro.com/Pro-Education/International%20-%20Peripheral%20Nerve%20Stimulation.aspx

Another Hiccups :(

Today I found out since my battery is not working that it will have to be surgically fix. My battery for my stimulator has fallen to deep into my hip to connect with the charger. So I can't charge it and it is died not for a week and half. I hope that the insurance doesn't take forever but who knows. Till then I have a very unwelcome headaches that turn into migraines here and there. I am determined to have a good summer though.

A day in the Life of Migraineur

This is a typical day for me when I have a migraine. If I have to go to work or school I am up by 7 at the latest. I can normal base the night before how I will be feeling in the morning. So when I first wake up I decide whether I need to shower to wake up or not. I sometime have to shower to loosen up and ease the pain. Then I take my anti-seizure and/or muscle relaxer. And then I eat breakfast and because I have food triggers I usually have something with whole grain or fruits. I normally start the day off at a four or a five. As the day goes on I become in more and more pain. By noon I am normal in enough pain where I need to rest in the dark or nap. This isn't always easy to do and sometime I have to push through the pain. By the end of the day I am wide out but the sad part is that I can't sleep due to the pain or insomnia. By the end of the day I am at a eight or nine. The pain of the migraine is a dull and achy pain. Something it can be sharp and on one side of my head. But this is just the pain in my head. Sometime the pain is behind my eyes and it just feel like someone is trying to push my eye balls out. When I have a migraine my whole body hurts all over. Not only does my body hurt but lights and sounds hurt. It hurt to hear the sounds and to see any lights. It a kind of  piercing pain that hurts way in the brain. There is also other thing that come along with migraines. Some symptom that I have along with migraine, is dizziness, ring of the ears, numbness in my arms and legs, muscle cramps, this list could really go on. This side effect that come from my migraine are hard to deal with alone. 
Migraines are very hard to deal. Along with the fact that no body really understand what we are going through. Not only is having migraines hard but the days recovering for a migraine are also hard and debilitating. I have struggle with migraine for the six years and It not the easiest thing I have done. I have had a lot of ups and downs. I spent a lot of my day in my bedroom trying to sleep away the pain. The days I do go out I have to be sure I have medicine in case I get a bad migraine. I am proud to say that I am a would traveler and manged to earn my Silver and Gold award through Girl scout. I never let my migraine stop me from doing what I want to do in life. I will also be fight against them for my dreams no mater how big or small.

This is me in Switzerland in 2011.

Some of my art work to remind myself to Live Life to the Fullest

This is a picture that I took. I love taking photograph of the great outdoors

This is me on a life flight tour on the top of a hospital in Houston Medical Center

Me on a boat in Germany in 2009

  I love to travel and I try and let nothing stop me

I show chickens in High School. This in 2010 when I was ninth place in  Houston Livestock show and rodeo. This was a very proud moment for me.

This is something I found online. That I like and find really true. 
I hope this post is helpful to everyone and that your pain free.